an anniversary

on february 7th, as i celebrated my sisters' sweet 16, between bites of scrumptious cake and the unwrapping of gifts, it occurred to me that their birthday marked another anniversary as well. it was precisely one year ago that i explained my limited interest in the online CF world in an email to an especially remarkable cyster. i don't know if it was introspection sparked by that email exchange or pure curiosity from my few visits to online forums and loyal following of a couple blogs, but things changed drastically in the twelve months that followed.

in the time since i typed those fateful words, i have:

• become an active member on cf2chat, an incredible online CF forum
• participated in other CF forums and facebook groups, including cysticlife
• closely followed at least 15 CF blogs as well as the stories of countless other CF journeys
• personally connected with a handful of CFers

these changes have significantly impacted my life. from small things like enriching treatment times to bigger things like sharing invaluable information about CF treatments, therapies and alternative approaches and providing support like i've never experienced before in my life, my increasing involvement in the online CF community over the past year has been, to put it simply, absolutely life-changing.

but, perhaps the biggest transformation of all is that for the first time in my life, i feel comfortable and proud to belong to the CF community. 

it is a community that is made up of some of the most dynamic, strong, smart, articulate, compassionate, entrepreneurial, creative, relentless, courageous and generous people i know (or, e-know). it is a community that believes in the power of community not only in our collective fight against a heinous disease, but, perhaps most importantly, in our collective fight to keep living and keep breathing with this heinous disease.

embracing my membership in the CF world is a process though and while i've made substantial progress over the past year, i still have a ways to go. as it stands now, i have only shared this blog with one very special non-CF friend and i remain pretty quiet about CF and its day-to-day impact on my life to most people besides my closest friends and immediate family. i don't write about doctor visits or hospital stays in my facebook status and while i assume most colleagues suspect something is up given my persistent, mucus-filled cough and periodic medical leaves, i have not officially told most of them that CF is to blame.

as i've seen so far, the public emergence of my CF self takes time and comes in stages. first it was devout following of CF blogs, then i added active participation in online CF forums, and now i'm tackling fundraising for the CF stair climb. i'm not quite sure where i'm headed, but i know how far i've come in just the past year alone and i actually feel surprisingly ok letting this process unravel on its own timeline.

so, i guess i just want to say thank you. to each and every member of the online CF community who has ever welcomed a newcomer with open [virtual] arms or taken the time to compose a thoughtful response to a desperate question or lent support in a time of need or praised a poignant blog post... thank you. thank you for sharing yourself, your wisdom and your story and thank you for giving each of us something greater to belong to and believe in. i am truly forever grateful.