raising funds and overcoming hurdles one flight of stairs at a time

asking people for money is an uncomfortable thing to do. asking people for money to support research for a disease you have, you live with everyday and will probably die from is even harder.

it's hard because people are weird about money; it's hard to ask for money during such a tough economic time; and its hard to ask people to support something that is so charged, so meaningful and so close to home.

or at least it has been for me.

a few weeks ago, a couple of my closest, dearest friends asked me if i would be comfortable with them creating a team in my honor to participate and raise money for the CF stair climb, a local fundraiser that my family has been involved with for the past 23 years. touched beyond belief, i responded with a resounding yes. my friends named the team "emily's entourage" and they reached out to my immediate family to come onboard.

they began soliciting donations from friends and family. emails went to college friends, high school friends, family friends, aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends' families and friends of friends. the goal was simple: to raise money for CF research that will hopefully lead to new drugs and therapies that will enable us, CFers, to live longer and better.

immediately, donations started flowing in. i felt inexplicable gratitude and sheer shock as friends, family and others contributed generously. some even took on the challenge of climbing the 53 flights of stairs themselves and began their own fundraising efforts in conjunction with the team. there are simply no words to adequately express the appreciation i felt as our team kept expanding and increasing our team fundraising goal.

keep in mind that i've always been reluctant to ask people for anything, especially money and especially favors relating to CF. on top of that, with the exception of my most immediate circle, i am pretty private about the details and day-to-day impact of CF on my life. i think it stems from a desire to remain autonomous, self-sufficient and not in need of special treatment or attention because of CF. i think i also shy away from any situation that risks people not responding the way i expect or hope they would -- particularly people who are important to me. it is safer not to ask and altogether avoid a situation that may leave me disappointed. this has been the subconscious line of reasoning underlying my lack of CF fundraising for many years.

besides being completely moved by my friends' demonstration of love, commitment and support, i'm also so appreciative that they burst my bubble. it may have been a safe bubble, but it was brimming with denial and it was incongruent with my overall life goal of seeking truth no matter how painful, confusing, wonderful or altogether bubble-popping it may be. 

so here i am -- bubble-popped, inarticulately humbled and grateful and appreciative beyond all measure by so many and, at the same time, scared. i'm scared of disappointment and i'm scared of feeling let down by people who really matter to me and don't contribute. i'm overwhelmed by the intensity of emotions on both sides of the spectrum and i'm eager to overcome this psychological hurdle standing tall, chin up and alongside some of the best friends and family i can even imagine.

while i will not be among "emily's entourage" as they trudge their way up 53 painful and grueling flights of stairs (good luck, guys!), i see this fundraising effort as one major step -- or flight of stairs, if you will -- along my ongoing journey to honesty and self-discovery. you better believe that i fully plan to celebrate both of our milestone climbs over a big, festive sunday brunch following the event with everyone.


if you are interested, click here for our CF stair climb fundraising page.